When it comes to domestic violence, if there are children involved you always need to think about more than just yourself and that relationship that is not what you wanted it to be. Many times, we try to work through it, but in the end, not only do we suffer but the children are the ones who really bear the brunt of domestic violence. Once you have been abused by a spouse, don’t make the mistake of thinking it was a ‘one-time event,’ because where there’s a spark, there’s a fire. What will it take to ignite that kindling to a full-fledged attack.
1) Get out While the Getting’s Good
At the first sign of violent or abusive behavior, get out while you can! Get out before it explodes. That would be the very best thing you can do for yourself and your children. Also, this is not only directed at mothers! Sometimes it is the dad who is the calm and solid one in a relationship and it is the mother who has an explosive disorder. Just because you are the man of the family doesn’t mean you should feel less than ‘manly’ to admit you and the children are being abused. A real man doesn’t hit a woman and some men fear restraining them because that could be construed as physical abuse as well. It has happened before.
2) Next Step to Take after Leaving
The next thing you need to do after removing yourself and your children from the home is to seek legal counsel. Whether you are legally married or simply in a relationship with the children’s father, a common-law kind of relationship, you want to protect the children. Who is to say that the other parent won’t file a petition with the courts that you kidnapped the kids? Talk to a professional, they will advise you on the steps to take with the courts so that a petition holds no weight when there is ample evidence that you (and/or the children) are in danger.
3) How to Prove Imminent Danger?
However, make sure there is documentation of some sort. That would be a vital step to take. Are there any witnesses to what happened? Did you need to seek medical or psychological attention for an ‘injury’ of some sort, physical or emotional? Is there a police report? Did neighbors or friends witness anything? The major point here is to protect the kids at all costs. You are an adult and can take steps to hide yourself in a shelter or some safe house, but the children are voiceless without you. Your job to protect them.
These are just three of the ways in which you can take steps to protect yourself and your kids when domestic violence strikes home. The point being made is that you cannot control the actions of another and when violence strikes, it will strike again. Taking into account the statistics, you will see the system is overwhelmed with victims who ‘thought’ it was once, and then twice, and then because they were fired, or felt bad about themselves or it was the spouse’s fault for not being a proper spouse. The list goes on so get out, get help, and get safe.
