I had the privilege of diving into this new book, All Over the Map, A Memoir. It is a must have for a stocking stuffer this holiday season 💕. The author, Tanya Zaufi, was kind enough to share an article on 5 ways to keep the flame alive and stay connected in a long-distance relationship.
Communicate openly and honestly, letting your vulnerability show.
Talk and have real conversations, both deep and lighthearted. It could be about everyday things as you learn as much as you can about your partner. It is okay to have those tough conversations, too, as it builds your relationship past just romance and lust but a friendship which is a huge part of any relationship. Communication is what brings you that much closer to having a best friend. Always be open and honest with your partner. Let your loved one know if they aren’t communicating with you as much as you would like. Everyone has different needs and unfortunately, people aren’t mind readers. Be vulnerable and let your guard down – let them in! Also, listen to what your partner has to say and understand that even though his/her way of doing things may be different than yours; that is okay. It’s what makes you a team.
Have fun planning your next get together.
The anticipation of planning your itinerary and details will build and will make your reunion that much sweeter. When you do see each other – make it count, live in the moment. Take the time to soak it all in and enjoy even the smallest thing like having coffee together in the morning. Be spontaneous. Have fun! Send an invitation to your partner prior to his arrival inviting him/her to dinner or a wine and cheese tasting night at home. Set the mood with ambiance by lighting candles, playing soft music, and enjoying a warm moment by the fire.
Lean on technology.
During my long distance relationship, our only option for communicating was through snail mail and long distance phone calls – which made our talking time limited. In today’s world, you can use technology to your benefit. Plan a virtual dinner; set the mood, light candles and get dressed up. Make those “goodnight” and “good morning” phone calls on Zoom, Facetime or Skype. They are truly the next best thing to being together in person. Send texts — including playful and sexy – these will help fan the fire and keep the spark alive. It is amazing how much technology can help you feel connected and not so far apart!
Send love letters, postcards and thoughtful or playful gifts.
The gift doesn’t have to be expensive – it is the thought, time and heart that make a difference. Old fashioned gestures offer so many ways to get creative expressing your love. Send a box of love notes full of things you love about your partner – you can send a bunch at once with instructions of ‘open when.’ Or send a small memento for them to hold onto to remind them of you – maybe a framed photo of you marked with your lipstick print or send a sexy package of some lingerie. These thoughtful gifts can make the heart skip a beat and again light that fire! I was fortunate to be on the receiving end of a very romantic and thoughtful gift. We lived two continents apart and my lover mailed me a parcel with a message in a bottle – he wrote a love letter and literally took the time to burn the edges of it, put the scrolled letter into a bottle, tied with a red ribbon, accompanied with a long-stemmed dried red rose and a meaningful CD with the song ‘I Could Not Ask for More’ by Edwin McCain. We were thousands of miles apart but his gesture melted my heart.
Live your commitment.
Make plans together for the future while setting clear rules and boundaries. Always act in trust. Believe and support each other. You are each other’s biggest cheerleader. Make sure that you both are on the same page and have the same end goals. Make a plan for when you can eventually live in the same location. Be confident in your relationship – don’t be insecure. Be committed to each other and faithful – don’t break the trust. This is huge, especially if you are living in different states or even further like on different continents.
Make a positive situation during your time a part. You have the opportunity to meet in your dreams every night. Remember that great things take time. Good things come to those who work for it.
Distance gives us a reason to love harder. And when you finally end up living in the same place together it makes it that much sweeter! Long distance relationships are worth every mile because the distance ends up meaning so little when your lover means so much. The distance is just a test of how far your love can travel.
When you are having a hard time being separated, remember that difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations. Have the courage to shape your own destiny and believe in it. Sometimes, there is no path. You simply have to create your own. Once in a lifetime you meet someone who changes everything.
There were times when my lover and I didn’t see each other for two whole years. But knowing that one day, the plane ticket will be one way and in the end it will be worth every mile. My love affair was 50,000 miles over eight years – we had made it through all the years apart, through all the postcards, phone calls, letters, itineraries, luggage and flights. My lover was always my destiny.
Tanya Zaufi, author of All Over the Map: Two Lovers, Six Continents and a Date With Destiny, is a travel industry veteran who has worked at hotels, ski resorts and aboard the ships of major cruise lines. A passionate traveler, she has visited or sojourned in dozens of memorable places from the Austrian Alps and the Caribbean to Greece and Australia—her favorite destinations. When not writing, Tanya enjoys lake life, camping, hiking, cycling, and riding her ATV in the warmer months. During the winter season, she skis, snowshoes, skates and enjoys relaxing in the hot tub with a good glass of wine. She lives in Kelowna, British Columbia with her husband, Josef, and their two children. Above all, she loves seeing the world through her children’s eyes.