Empower; em·pow·er – make stronger and more confident
Many people do not empower themselves for the sake of not stepping on other's toes. We start to feel like a victim, trapped, unable to move forward – or worst of all, missing out on the better things in life, even as we long for them.
8 Signs That You Are Not Empowering Yourself
I believe that as women we need to lift each other up and empower our daughters to be more and challenge themselves. I want to share eight signs that will show you that you're not empowering yourself to be your best self.
1 – Saying yes when we really want and need to say no
Being assertive is not the same as being mean. It is empowering to say no because you are only choosing to do things that are right for you, and will help you continue on the right path towards your goals, rather than get sidetracked by people who are using you to achieve theirs.
TIP: Practice saying no without any apology or excuse, and see how much more powerful and in control you will be.
2 – Being a “people pleaser”
Going out of your way to be nice to people or impress them drains your energy, let's face it you can neve make everyone happy. People pleasers should practice better self-care, saying no, and not worrying so much about what others think of them.
3 – Not feeling respected
This might be in the home or the workplace. The next time someone puts you down, don't yell or do it back to them, instead, say, “I feel you don't respect me when you say things like that”. You might be surprised at their reaction.
4 – Not feeling as if our contributions are valued
Similar to being disrespected is the sense that you are being overlooked, while other people sing their own praises and try to impress everyone with their achievements. You don't need to brag, but you should take credit where it is due.
5 – Not feeling loved
This is particularly true of romantic relationships. Therapist Dr. Gary Chapman has written a very useful series of books called [easyazon_link keywords=”The 5 Love Languages” locale=”US” tag=”reamom0b-20″]The 5 Love Languages[/easyazon_link]. His model of successful human relationships is that there are five love languages, and we each have a primary and secondary love language. If we “hear” the love language that is important to us, we will feel loved. If we don't, we will struggle.
TIP: You can empower yourself by learning what your love languages are and then teaching them to your partner, and vice versa.
6 – Not feeling supported
Friends, family, and colleagues all play a vital role in how successful we are in life. If we don't feel supported, we need to ask for help so we will stop struggling.
TIP: Get out of your comfort zone and instead of saying everything is ok, share your feelings and let others know how they can help.
7 – Not feeling understood
This applies to all relationships, but particularly romantic ones and those in the workplace. A lack of connection leads to misunderstanding, strained relationships, and even the end of relationships if the misunderstanding is severe enough. Practice saying what you mean and meaning what you say.
8 – Having no goals or vision for your life
Drifting shows a lack of direction and self-care. Set goals, track your progress, and achieve your targets. Success will breed success. Set SMART goals and hold yourself accountable either through journaling, a phone app or finding an accountability partner. You'll be surprised at what a difference this can make in your life and give you that drive back!
Don't just go with the flow to make everyone else happy, put yourself first! Watch out for these signs and take action to get yourself back on track towards living your best life.