Divorces are never easy for spouses or children. Individuals involved are bound to feel negative feelings, especially if relationships don't end amicably. Divorce can go much smoother if exes go into the process wanting to come to a mutual agreement and have honest dialogues with all of the parties involved. This can help to ensure that in years following the divorce, parents are able to maintain healthy relationships with their children and have civil exchanges with their exes.
Children will have a difficult time dealing with divorce, no matter what their ages, but parents can help make the transition process smoother by being honest with their children. As they start to make changes to their family dynamics, such as one parent moving out, separating or divorcing couples should be as open as possible with their children. While they may not be able to share all of the details of their divorces, parents can talk to their children about divorce in a gentle yet truthful way. Couples also want to be honest with other family members, such as their parents or siblings, so that there aren't any misunderstandings.
If children have an overly difficult time coping with divorce, parents should consider seeking counseling for them. Psychologists are better trained to help children to be able to understand and adapt to the changes in their lives, and they can also help adults to handle divorce in healthier ways.
Couples can make divorce easier by going through mediation instead of court proceedings. During mediation, divorcing spouses work together to decide on financial, child custody, tax and retirement-related issues. A neutral party, AKA, a mediator, assists them along the way, especially on issues in which they have disagreements. Meditation can take anywhere from a handful to 10 sessions. The mediation process is not only less expensive and takes less time than court proceedings, but it can allow parents to show their children that they are willing to cooperate and work together, no matter what emotions they are experiencing.
Although they may seem to be a financial burden on ex-husbands or wives, alimony payments can help to ensure that their former spouses are able to live similar lifestyles to which they are accustomed following divorce. The payments can especially help people who haven't worked in a number of years but have supported their exes in their careers. Alimony payments can be helpful for ex-spouses during the transitional period after their divorces. Professionals, like those at Hackworth Law, know that this money can be used on affordable housing, utilities, and child-related expenses. Alimony is awarded to an ex-husband or wife for a certain period of time. Judges take educational level, length of marriage, work experience and finances into account when deciding on alimony awards and lengths.
Divorces are often easier for everyone involved when both parents receive access to their children. With joint custody, both ex-spouses are equally involved in deciding on important parenting issues, such as what health plans their children are covered under and where they will go to school. This type of arrangement isn't perfect and can lead to some stress for children, especially at first, but not having access to one of their parents because of one parent's resentment, anger or hurt can be more damaging. Parents can help their children to adapt faster by making sure that they have established routines. One parent may need to have physical custody of children for these arrangements to be able to work, especially if parents don't live in the same cities or states. Exes want to take their children's best interests into consideration when deciding on joint custody arrangements but also make an effort to make both parents an important part of their children's lives.
Many couples going through divorces let their emotions guide them. This method of handling divorce can be detrimental emotionally, psychologically and financially, not only for them but for their children. If parents go into a divorce with a goal of working together collaboratively, they can come up with mutually-beneficial solutions for issues such as their finances and child custody. A more amicable divorce can also make the transition to a new family dynamic easier for everyone.
Rachelle Wilber is a freelance writer living in the San Diego, California area. She graduated from San Diego State University with her Bachelor's Degree in Journalism and Media Studies. She tries to find an interest in all topics and themes, which prompts her writing. When she isn't on her porch writing in the sun, you can find her shopping, at the beach, or at the gym. Follow her on Twitter @RachelleWilber and Facebook.