Families experience a range of emotions as their lives adjust to major changes such as a parent no longer sharing the bedroom, altered pickup/drop off times from school, and an atmosphere that feels different at dinnertime. Children may not fully comprehend each of the conversations among adults, but they sense that there has been a change in the “air.”
Via Unsplash
Routine provides a consistent, comforting environment during the process of adjustment due to a variety of reasons, including divorce, separation, relocation, illness, new residence and many more. Routine is one thing over which families who are experiencing transition have some control. By providing your child with daily routines that provide consistency, you can give your child an anchor to hold onto amidst the uncertainty and chaos of this time.
Maintain The Small Routines Of Each Day Wherever Possible
Children generally respond best to maintaining those aspects of their daily routine that are predictable. This doesn’t imply that all elements of the family’s routine must continue as normal. Instead, it implies that wherever possible, children should have some familiarity with daily routines. Breakfasts should continue to take place at the regular time or place. Bedtimes can follow the same sequence of events. School bags should be prepared in advance. These small routines create stability by communicating to the child, “some things remain the same.”
Communicate Changes To Your Child Using An Honest And Calm Method
You don’t necessarily need to explain the entire situation to your child. Too much information can lead to feelings of responsibility in your child regarding issues outside their control. Generally speaking, children desire to know simply that they are loved and will be supported during a time of change. A reassuring message communicated calmly could read, “Things are changing around here, but you will continue to attend school and see your friends. We will continue to read stories before bedtime, etc…”. It is essential to maintain a calm demeanor regardless of how you feel.
Effective communication from parents/guardians is a vital part of this transitional process, especially when there are negotiations with regard to custody or legal rights. Attorneys practicing family law, like MFC lawyers, may be able to assist parents in developing suitable plans for their children that will avoid confusion among them due to conflicting messages or subjecting them to unexpected changes.
Create Stability During Transition
Transitioning between two residences, changing schools, or adjusting to new schedules can be mentally exhausting for children. One method of creating predictability for your child is by using a joint calendar. Additionally, you can use identical lists for preparing lunches or packing backpacks, duplicate comfort objects, and establish standard handoff procedures.
By giving your child a general idea of what will happen next, anxiety caused by uncertainty can be minimized. Attempt to avoid rushing transitions and creating stressful environments. Establishing a positive departure ritual, using a familiar bag, and reminding your child of when he/she will see you again can assist in reducing stress associated with difficult transitions.
Identify Those Small Signs Of Stress
Some kids will straight out ask questions about what is happening. Other kids will show their stress through the way they act (withdrawing, clinging, irritability, or excessive tiredness). You might see changes in how your kid sleeps, eats, handles school, daydreams, and plays.
Be calm when dealing with a stressed kid. Don’t rush them to talk about things. Many times, kids express themselves creatively while doing activities like riding around in a car or helping make a meal, etc.
The stresses that families go through due to the many adjustments made to family structure and routines are both procedure-related and emotional, normally disorganized, and basically human. If you can continue to have a daily routine for your child and communicate calmly and realistically with your child, then you give your child something valuable, the knowledge that life exists.