Coping With an Unreasonable and Abusive Spouse


This is a topic that demands some attention due to the gravity of the subject. Although it’s not the most pleasant thing to talk about, it’s important that we touch on this subject so that in the event you experience domestic violence or suffer from psychological abuse from your spouse, you know what actions to take to protect yourself and your children.

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Don’t try to reason

Unfortunately, trying to reason with an abusive spouse is almost impossible. Whether they verbally abuse you or physically harm you, you can’t hope to talk sense into them and you don’t deserve to take that abuse. The worst thing you can do is encourage the abuse by letting them get away with it and treat you poorly while you do nothing about it. However, you shouldn’t argue or fight back because it will just incite more anger and escalate the situation. If you feel like the wellbeing of you and your children is at risk, then the best thing you can do is to leave the house for a while and stay with a friend or a trusted family member.

Speak to someone

As if being abused wasn’t bad enough, keeping it locked up in an attempt to not ruin your spouse’s reputation is even worse. The most horrible situation to be in is to have all of your friends and family praise your spouse for their accomplishments and attitude because they don’t realise what goes on behind closed doors. Approach your family first because they are closest to you, but if they don’t believe you or don’t have many ways to help, then speak with friends next. Alternatively, if the abuse is getting unbearable, then you should look for family lawyers to talk to. As an outsider to your situation, a lawyer will have the utmost confidence in your claim and will do everything they can to help you, even if your friends and family members have a hard time understanding your situation.

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Look after your own health

Although we instinctively try our best to look after our children by prioritising them, keep in mind that if you aren’t in great shape, you won’t do a good job of looking after your children. Accept that an abusive spouse will have negative effects on your health. You’re going to be emotionally distraught at times, you might sink into having an unhealthy diet, or you might even be so stressed out and upset that you take it out on your children. Whatever the case may be, you have to unwind, eat healthily and take care of your own body.

Have a plan

Perhaps you haven’t been physically abused yet, or maybe you’re starting seeing early signs of verbal abuse such as passive aggressive behaviour. Stress can quickly escalate the situation and turn it very nasty within just a couple of minutes. The most important thing to remember is to not say anything that could trigger more abusive behaviour. For instance, if you suggest or threaten to leave them or call the police, it could put you in danger and increase your risk of being harmed. Devise a plan and execute it when you feel safe enough to do so.


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