I don't know about you but there are times when I lose my cool and find myself yelling at the kids. Afterwards I feel guilty but don't know how to change my actions for it not to happen again. I knew I had to change so I decided to find a few strategies I could use to stop my yelling habits. Hopefully these easy strategies can help you too! Let's focus on staying calm and being positive role models.
- Plan ahead. You know your children are going to frustrate you at some point, so plan ahead how you will handle it. Pay attention to the warning signs such as clenching your teeth and/or fists or a slight raise to your voice.
- Ask for help. Allow them to give you a signal if your voice begins getting louder. This could be a catch phrase which someone not in-the-know won't understand but you will be able to calm down quickly.
- Develop coping mechanisms. Walk out of the room, take a deep breath or count to ten. If it isn't possible to walk away close your eyes for a moment and just breathe before reacting.
- Think about your child's temper tantrums. Why do they have a meltdown? They're tired, hungry or frustrated. Are you experiencing the same things?
- Pay attention to the times you're more liable to yell. Perhaps you yell when you're more stressed than usual. Keep a record of the times when you just couldn't keep your cool, this will allow you to look back and see the triggers BEFORE they start.
- Find new ways to get your children's attention. Don't yell if your children aren't paying attention to you. Use a whistle, stand on a chair or try anything out of the ordinary. I like to do what they teach them at school and they have to copy a clapping rhythm, this automatically catches their attention once I start clapping.
- If all else fails, seek professional help. Some people have a hard time breaking habits and yelling is one of them. Speak to someone who can hold you accountable or a professional who deals with anger management. They may be able to provide you with the help you need.
Yelling can affect your children's self-esteem and it can cause your blood pressure to rise. Honestly for me there is no excuse to lose my cool. My kids respond better when I can stay calm and cool! Hopefully by using these strategies and noticing your triggers you can stop yelling at your kids and change the dynamics of your home from stressful to peaceful.
How do you keep your cool?