Life gives us lemons from time to time. It is inevitable. And tough times are tougher than usual to parents because they have an additional set of responsibilities and situations to take care of. But you can’t control all the things that happen in your life. However, you can control how you choose to deal with them. And during these tough times, everything irritates you! This is when you lash out at your kids unreasonably. Here are a few tips for you to avoid that and be a positive parent when life tests you!
1. Take your space
If you find yourself annoyed with your child and you know that you’re going to lose your cool, stop for a moment, take a deep breath. Please be kind to yourself and your kid as well. Know that it is entirely okay to feel however you are feeling. Acknowledge the fact that there is always a positive way to deal with such situations. Learn to incorporate positivity, and how? Well, spend some quality time with yourself, take your space, read your favorite book, or watch feel-good movies such as Little Miss Sunshine or Pride and Prejudice, You could also go for a walk in the nearby park, or have a warm cup of coffee by the side of a window. Even though these things seem little, they make a huge impact.
2. Take help from Family
Most parents, unfortunately, feel that they have the ownership to their kids, sometimes leading to an unhealthy obsession of not letting any other family member involve in the kid’s undertaking. If you can relate to this, break the habit immediately. Your child can always learn new things and may alter his/her negative perception about certain things due to the presence and influence of your extended family. This is extremely helpful in the case of single parents too, as they fill the shoes of both parents, and that has its effects! Taking help from the family will make single parenting less hectic.
3. Be aware of the postpartum depression
What’s keeping you so angry all the time that even a curious question from your toddler is agitating you? Why are you so disinterested in your kid’s activities these days? Do you think it is postpartum depression? Don’t let it be. Get diagnosed as it is pretty common. Your doctor can immediately help you out and start the medication. Depression is a dark cloud, and it will never let you be a positive person, much less a positive parent.
4. Make your kid Independent
Sure, we agree that having a kid is a huge responsibility, but you don’t need to make every tiny decision on their behalf. Let them choose what they want for their breakfast. Let them go to a friend’s house for a sleepover. Don’t rush to be there for the smallest of things, as this might make them dependant on you. Positive parenting is all about making your kid stronger, and your constant scrutinisation just does the opposite of it. Starting with small things at first, gradually give them the freedom to choose things themselves. This will not only make them independent but will also give them the sense of ownership, thus, making them responsible too.
5. Say no to spanking and punishments
This is the golden rule of positive parenting. Positive parenting involves explaining, talking, and reasoning with your kids, instead of spanking or using any other type of punishments for disciplining them. Although being pleasant when you’re preoccupied with nerve-racking issues isn’t easy, we recommend you to abandon any parenting methods that require force. They might just have an adverse effect on your child.
6. Avoid arguments and conflicts
You may have financial issues, or an unstable career, or a rocky relationship with your spouse or with any family member, or something else that requires attention. But, it is advisable to keep the arguments and the conflicts away from your kid. Children usually learn from the elders, and all the fighting and arguing in front of them will definitely have a negative effect. They might even take it personally and fret over it. Therefore, never bring your kid into your personal battlespace.
7. Stay positive
‘Stay positive‘ – it is easier said than done. Yes! But would you rather stay temperamental over whatever is happening in your life, (which affects your kid) or find a solution by having a positive take on the problems? Have patience, understand that things will take the time to set right and you can’t speed up the process in any way. Exercise every day to keep the anxiety and stress at bay, have proper nutrition, meditate every day, and you’ll see the change in you and your kid due to your positive parenting gradually.
Remember the famous quote, “Bad times are just the punctuation between the good ones!” It is completely true. Have faith, as everything will take time to happen. Once you keep the negativity away, positive parenting comes naturally.
Post by Guest Author Aradhana Pandey. Aradhana is a writer from India. She covers topics concerning parenting, child nutrition, wellness, health and lifestyle. She has more than 150+ publications from reputable sites like Natural news, Elephant Journal, Lifehacker and www.momjunction.com to her credit. Aradhana writes to inspire and motivate people to adopt healthy habits and live a stress-free lifestyle.